No Conditions

The Sermon Study Guide is here.

1 Corinthians 13; John 15:9-17

August 26, 2012 • Portage First UMC

“Love is all you need.” “Love makes the world go ‘round.” “Love is a many-splendored thing.” “To know me is to love me.” “Stop in the name of love.” “What’s love got to do with it?” Over and over again, one theme keeps coming up in American music and pop culture: love. But what we mean by it varies depending on the situation and circumstances. This past month, we’ve been looking at that word “love,” a word that is pretty much all-inclusive in the English language. However, in the New Testament world, we’ve been discovering, there were four primary words for “love,” each word describing a different expression or experience of that emotion. “Storge” refers to family love, and family is where we normally first experience what love is. “Philos” refers to friendship love, those people outside of our family whom we have a connection to, for whom we would do most anything. And “eros” refers to marital love, expressed as a life-long covenant between a husband and wife. And we would tend to think that covers the gamut. Those three words pretty much sum up all the real love we experience. And yet, the New Testament world has another word for love: the word “agape.” Now, before Paul and the other New Testament writers came along, this word wasn’t used all that much. It had the meaning of “inclining toward” something until Paul and the other writers took it and filled it with new meaning (Bailey, Paul Through Mediterranean Eyes, pg. 349). “Agape” came to represent the kind of love God has for us, supremely seen in Jesus. And so this morning, as we explore this powerful word, we’re going to first look at how Jesus defined it and then turn to one of the most well-known descriptions of “agape.”

On the last night Jesus spent with his disciples, he took a walk with them during which he shared the most important things on his heart. If these words sound familiar, it’s because we keep circling back to this passage; these teachings of Jesus are fundamental to our faith. When you know you’re going to die, you don’t waste time talking about unimportant things. And so Jesus comes back to this theme he’s talked about before: “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you” (15:12). Agape each other, Jesus says, just as I have “agaped” you. And then he goes on to say something they probably didn’t understand that night, because it hadn’t happened yet. Jesus goes on to describe the ultimate way he will love them, by giving his life for them, by dying in their place, by taking the punishment for their (and our) sin. “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (15:13). There is no higher expression of love than to give away what is most precious to you for the sake of someone else. Jesus is the supreme example of agape, and he is the standard by which our agape toward others is measured (cf. Tenney, “The Gospel of John,” Expositor’s Bible Commentary, Vol. 9, pg. 153). In fact, John, the writer of this Gospel, later reflected on this walk with Jesus and he wrote about it in one of his letters: “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters” (1 John 3:16). 

THIS is how we know what love is, John says. The standard is Jesus. The standard is not the latest break-ups and make-ups by the celebrities that are detailed on the news and in our newspapers. The standard is not the latest popular brand of anything. The standard is not our culture and its changing tastes for what is “hot” and what is “not.” The standard is not even the sort of love you experienced or didn’t experience when you were growing up. The standard is Jesus. He is the one who commands us to love (agape), and he is the one who has done everything love can do by giving his life on the cross (Wright, John for Everyone, Part Two, pg. 74).

So in this short passage, Jesus tells us several things about agape. First of all, it’s a command. It’s not a request or a suggestion. Living agape toward each other is a command Jesus gives us. Second, he himself demonstrates what it looks like. Agape is living like Jesus, giving ourselves away for the sake of the other. Third, agape is what we’re supposed to show toward each other. Sometimes, even as we celebrate the great love God has for us, the love God showed to us in Jesus, we forget to love each other, to love those around us. It’s easy to love those who are like us, or those we like, or those who make us laugh, or those who entertain us. But what about those folks who grate on our nerves? What about those who annoy us, who rub us the wrong way? What about those who have tried to hurt us? This same Jesus told his followers, way back at the beginning of his ministry, “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven…If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that?” (Matthew 5:44-46). Guess what word he uses there? Agape. Agape your enemies. Love them as you would those who are nice to you. So agape is not something we earn; it’s something offered to us with no conditions. We can’t earn it. Agape”is also not something we conjure up on our own. Jesus sets this as the model: “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you” (15:9). The Father has “agaped” Jesus, Jesus has “agaped” us, and in that same power, we “agape” other people. We give away what God has already given us, because “agape” is the way God loves us. Unconditionally, no strings attached, God loves you and God loves me just because we are. Now, I want to come back to that fact in just a few moments, but for this moment, realize that when Jesus says, “Love one another,” and he gives it as a command, he’s not expecting us to do it in our own power, but in his. “We love because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19).

So, what does agape look like? If we were to describe it, how would we do so? To answer that question, we want to turn to one of the most famous passages in all of Scripture, the 13th chapter of 1 Corinthians. Now, a lot of people wouldn’t recognize the reference, but most would recognize the words because it’s read very frequently at weddings. And while its words certainly can apply to marriages, the goal Paul has in this chapter is much larger. 1 Corinthians 13 is part of a larger section in this letter in which Paul is explaining to the Corinthians that they all have a part to play in the body of Christ, the church, and rather than competing with each other or treating each other with envy and jealousy because someone else has a gift you don’t have, you should instead spend your time growing in love together. The situation in Corinth would be similar to me spending all my time envying the talent ___ has rather than using the gifts and abilities I have. Paul says, “You are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it” (12:27). So, in essence, knock it off. Stop treating each other badly and start living like you’re Christians. Let me show you, he says, a better way to live (12:31). And then he launches into this beautiful description of agape.

The whole chapter has much to say to us, but for the sake of time this morning, I want to focus on verses 4-8, where Paul gives very specific characteristics of agape. First of all, love is patient (13:4). Literally, he says, love puts anger far away (Bailey 367). When we picture patience, we think maybe of counting to ten before we blow our stack, or of putting up with someone’s quirks even though it really annoys us. Paul has something much more active in mind. A person who loves—who exhibits agape—could retaliate against someone who has hurt or injured or spoken ill of them, but chooses not to. They choose to put their anger far away in order to live agape. It’s the person who is slandered and could go slander the other person, but chooses not to, chooses to trust that love is more powerful than evil, than hate. That person “puts anger off” and lives with integrity even when they are being spoken against. That leads to the next characteristicx: love is kind. Again, we picture something rather tame here, but Paul’s choice of words has the meaning of extinguishing the flame of anger with soothing and comforting words. It’s meeting fire with water. It’s meeting a wound with salve. Like patience, kindness is returning good for evil.

Paul then begins a list of what agape is not. Love does not envy, or we can also say it is not jealous. This was one of the Corinthians’ problems, one Paul addresses early on in the letter: “You are still worldly. For since there is jealousy and quarreling among you, are you not worldly? Are you not acting like mere humans?” (3:3). Love rejoices when the other person wins, when they are promoted, when they are honored. We’ve already touched on this, but because it was such a problem for this church, Paul reminds them: agape is not envious of what the other person has. Nor is it boastful. There is a fine line, isn’t there, between being proud of a job well done (healthy pride) and boasting. Boasting usually comes out of a poor self-image, a low self-esteem. We don’t really like ourselves all that well, but we find ways to try to build ourselves up (and hopefully get others to agree) by either speaking about ourselves all the time or speaking about our children, or our job accomplishments or whatever. It’s a form of manipulation. If I convince you I’m wonderful, perhaps you will agree and then, at least for a moment, I can feel better about myself. Love does not need to boast, nor does it try to control others through flattery. An agape person knows they are loved by God, and that is enough. There is no need to boast.

Love is also not proud, Paul says, or you might translate that as love is not arrogant. “Someone has said that an ‘expert’ is the person who has all the answers and has stopped listening” (Bailey 369). We’ve all known people like that, haven’t we? Perhaps, though this may be harder to admit, we’ve even been people like that. This word Paul uses has to do with “inflating something,” which is why the King James says “love is not puffed up.” Arrogance tends to tear others down, which is why it has nothing to do with love. Neither does dishonoring others (13:5), or being rude (as one translation has it). The old King James here says love does “not behave itself unseemly.” It literally means “without good order.” It’s all those things your parents told you not to do because they are rude. I put a question out on Facebook, asking you what “rude” means, and here are some of those things: “When someone asks a personal question about something they don’t need to know about.” “Acting and speaking without considering the feelings of others.” “Ignoring someone even when they speak to you” or “they look at you like you’re cursed.” Thoughtlessness, inconsideration, self-centeredness. Or it’s the guy whom I didn’t know who tried to start a political argument with me this week, then called me all sorts of names when I wouldn’t play. We could undoubtedly go on and on, but you get the idea. Love is not those things. Love is not rude.

Love is also not self-seeking. It does not demand its own way or seek its own advantage. Really, Paul is saying that love—agape—doesn’t act like a child, because children are always insisting that they need, deserve, want what they want and they want it when? Now. When we experience agape, we have to realize the world does not revolve around me, myself and I. This has to do with justice, with caring for the needs of those around us. It has to do with seeking fair treatment for others, making sure all are fed, all have a place to live, and so on. We find that difficult to grasp these days. One of the most popular books of the last few years that was made into a blockbuster movie this past year is The Hunger Games, and when I saw the movie, I couldn’t help but think how much it reflects our time. In the story, twelve teenagers are pitted against each other and only one can survive. Now, the story takes a twist at the end that comes close to agape love, but for the most part, the society exists on seeking its own advantage, and the teenagers are taught that because that’s how they are going to survive. In the end, when there is talk of sacrifice and giving up one’s own needs for someone else, it’s shocking to that culture, and I think it is in our culture, too. Love is not self-seeking. Agape seeks the good of others, of all.

And love is not easily angered. It’s not irritable. It’s not touchy. It doesn’t fly off the handle at the smallest offense. In many ways, this ties into what Paul has said earlier about patience. Proverbs 15 reminds us, “A gentle answer turns away wrath” (15:1). Agape chooses the gentle answer. Agape hangs onto its self-control. One scholar describes it this way: love “is willing to absorb hostility out of love for the other, knowing that by absorbing it, that hostility can fade away” (Bailey 371). Add to that Paul’s next word: love “keeps no record of wrongs.” The word Paul uses comes from the world of accounting, where we keep endless records of debts and payments, making sure everything balances. And while that’s important in accounting, in the life of love it’s deadly. Yet, we do it, we keep our records of wrong, even though we know it kills us. We hang onto those hurts and those slights (real or perceived) and those wounds—we keep nursing the grudge and “picking the scab.” Paul knew about hurts. In his other letter to the Corinthians, he reminds them he was imprisoned, flogged, beaten nearly to death, constantly in danger from his own people the Jews as well as from Gentiles, wrongly accused by false believers. He had gone without food, without water, without clothing at times (2 Corinthians 11:23-27). And yet, he chooses to keep on sharing Jesus with anyone who will listen, even those who imprison or threaten him because he knows agape keeps a short list. Love allows the past to remain in the past, which means, also, that love forgives, for the sake of our own health. One report says 75% of all doctor visits today are stress-related. We’re killing ourselves by hanging on to the past and failing to truly love.

Then, Paul says, “Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth” (13:6). Elsewhere in the letter, Paul brings the Corinthians to task for something happening in their midst: “A man is sleeping with his father’s wife. And you are proud!” (15:1-2) Paul says. They were “delighting in evil,” something love does not do. And we need to ask of our own day: do we delight in evil? Why are there so many tabloids and television shows that deal with rumor and suspicion? I mean, someone’s watching them, right? Why are there so many talk shows that deal with DNA testing and paternity and family crises that we air for all to see? Someone’s watching them. Why is pornography such a huge business? Because 43% of internet users admit to viewing it, and one out of three of those is a woman. “Sex” and “porn” are among the top five search terms for kids under 18. The United States spends annually $13.6 billion on porn, and 35% of all internet downloads are pornographic. How many people could be fed for $13.6 billion? How many clean water wells could be dug for that money? Don’t tell me we don’t delight in evil; the signs and the actions are all around us. The question is how are we going to turn the corner to rejoicing in the truth? Because that’s what love does.

Then, in verse 7, Paul uses four words that build to a crescendo: “Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” “Protects” is a word that refers to waterproofing. It could mean “roof,” and a good roof protects the people inside from the rain. A person of agape protects those entrusted to him or her. Agape installs filters on the computer, and loves people enough to set boundaries. You see, none of this is a license to do whatever we want. Love is not about just doing anything. Love sets boundaries inside of which life can be experienced to the fullest. We do this with our children. Don’t leave the yard. Don’t cross the street. Don’t touch the hot stove. And yet, when we become adults, we want to get rid of all the rules—or at least the rules we don’t like. We want to pick and choose which of God’s directions we will follow and which ones we won’t. We’re okay with that “do not murder” thing, but really, is coveting a big deal anymore? Love loves us enough to set boundaries for our own good, for our own protection. Now, the other end of the spectrum is when the rules become all-important. That’s  the problem of the Pharisees and modern-day legalists. The rules become the religion. Christian faith is about a relationship in which we want to live in a certain way not because of the rules but because we want to please our beloved, Jesus the Savior. Love is not an excuse for “anything goes” because love protects; love wants the best life possible for us. As I’ve said frequently before, God loves us enough to accept us as we are and he loves us too much to leave us as we are. Love always protects.

And love always trusts, or always believes. This has to do with experiencing God’s love—we trust it has been poured out onto us so that we can share it with others. We believe what God has said about us, about his love for us, and about the way Jesus showed that love on the cross. The whole story of the Bible is the story of God loving humanity and us rejecting that love, even running away from it at times. And God keeps loving, and calling us back, calling us to live better because of his love. The same theme is found in the next characteristic: “love always hopes.” Love always waits for the salvation found in Jesus. Way back in the Old Testament, waiting for God’s salvation was a good thing. Lamentations says, “It is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord” (3:26). For the Christian, we find our hope in Jesus. It’s far more than, “I hope it doesn’t rain today.” It’s more like this: “The mystery in a nutshell is just this: Christ is in you, so therefore you can look forward to sharing in God's glory” (Colossians 1:27, Message). Love always hopes, and then, Paul says, love always perseveres. The word literally means “to remain under.” It means staying steadfast even when things get tough—enduring suffering as Jesus did on the cross, remaining faithful even when we don’t understand. We’ve had a lot of things happening lately around here, sicknesses, deaths, tragedies that are hard to explain. They’re impossible to explain. And yet God’s love is the one thing that has never wavered no matter what has happened. That agape love, given to us, helps us stand even when we feel like falling. Love always perseveres (Bailey 366-378).

And it can do so because love never fails (13:8). Actually, literally, he says, “love never falls” (Bailey 379-380). The image is of a mountain road where there is constantly the danger of falling over the edge. When we were in the Holy Land, we did a lot of walking, hiking. A lot of hiking. And one of the places we went was Mount Arbel, which overlooks the Sea of Galilee. There’s no indication that Jesus necessarily was on that mountain, but it might be one of the “lonely places” he withdrew to for prayer and solitude. Certainly, the view could be enough to move you toward prayer and praise. But the point here is this: when we were up there, there are no handrails or guardrails like we put all over our natural landmarks in America. And so, loving each other enough to protect each other, we were constantly advising other people in our group to be careful, to watch out, to not fall. Good advice! But Paul uses that image of a dangerous mountain pass or peak here to describe love—that no matter what is going on around it, love will not fall. Love is surefooted. Love will not disappear over the edge. Even when you feel like you’re falling, love will not and will not let you fall. Love never fails. Agape love—God’s love—never fails.

And I’m so very thankful for that, because there have been many times in my life when I felt like I was going over the edge. There have been times when I have felt very unloveable. There have been times when I felt like I have let God down. I’ve not loved others in the way that Paul describes and Jesus commands. Sometimes in our communion service, we pray that prayer: “Merciful God, we confess that we have not loved you with our whole heart…we have rebelled against your love, we have not loved our neighbors, and we have not heard the cry of the needy. Forgive us, we pray” (UMH 8). And when we pray that, my heart knows how true that is of me. And then come the next words: “In the name of Jesus Christ, you are forgiven!” Love—God’s agape love—never fails. It never leaves me, even when I feel unworthy. In fact, I think, it’s in those times when I feel most unworthy that God’s love becomes most real to me. You see, this description of love, all these things Paul has said, sound like a ridiculous standard and crazy actions to most of the world around us. Maybe even some of us are saying, “Well, that’s a nice goal, but I’ll never attain it” (cf. Wright, Paul for Everyone: 1 Corinthians, 172). But we don’t have to attain it. We just have to accept it. And when we allow God’s agape love to flood through our lives and hearts, to shape what we say and do, all of those other sorts of love—storge, phileo and eros—fall into place. None of them work without agape. We can’t truly love until we have allowed ourselves to be loved by God—no conditions, no strings attached, loved just because we are, and loved enough to be shaped into loving people. The great theologian Karl Barth, after writing many volumes of Biblical teaching, was once asked how he would sum it all up, and he responded very simply: “Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so.”

So…how will you respond to God’s agape love? How will you live into this “no condition” love? There may be some here this morning who have never allowed that love to touch your life. It’s as simple as a prayer, as telling Jesus you’re sorry for your sin (the ways you’ve lived outside God’s boundaries) and you want him to be part of your life. If you’ve never experienced God’s agape love, why not today? He will respond to the simplest prayer. But I’ll tell you up front: once you ask for that love in your life, he commands us to live like Jesus, to love like Jesus, to love each other and all those around us. “This is my command,” Jesus says, “Agape each other” (15:17). When we allow Jesus and his unconditional love to take over our lives, it’s not so we’ll feel better about ourselves. It’s so we can, in turn, love those around us with that same agape love. Only agape love will turn the world around. So do you know that love? Have you accepted it in your life?

You know, as I said, I frequently preach on the 1 Corinthians passage at weddings, and often I take this passage and put the couple’s names in the place of “agape.” So this morning, as we go to prayer, I’m going to ask you to do that. I’m going to read this passage, and every time I come to the word “love,” I’m going to pause and ask you to say your name out loud. Yes, it might sound a bit confusing as we hear all sorts of names, but you can handle it, I’m confident! What I want us to hear, as we pray, though, is the model, the goal Jesus has for us, as we learn to experience his agape and share it with others. And if these things aren’t true for you yet, ask Jesus to continue to work in your life so that they become true. Let’s pray this passage, and remember to insert your name when I pause. Actually, we’ll start with your name.

____ is patient, ____ is kind. ____ does not envy, ____ does not boast, ____ is not proud. ____ does not dishonor others, ____ is not self-seeking, ____ is not easily angered, ____ keeps no record of wrongs. ____ does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ____ always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. ____ never fails (13:4-8a).

Hear this word and believe this promise: “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:6). That’s good news! Amen.